Goodbye to 2012.. HELLO 2013!!

This is year has truly been hell, but making the decision to go to the temple by myself made everything really seem like heaven! My faith was tested to the max and the advisory did everything to discourage me. Going through temple prep was the most memorable experience that I will never forget, but  came out on top and that was what I needed to prove to myself that I can do anything I put my mind to.

Forgiveness also was another lesson learned, Yet again in my life! It can be such a dark, hard, frustrating place to be but when you have truly forgiven you are set free and can happier! Doesn't mean that things don't hurt but that suddenly are even more comforted. It is also my favorite part of the Atonement! I have made so many mistakes and to know that my Father has forgiven me is such an impeccable feeling. Forgiveness is not for the ones who have hurt us it is for US!!

  I know I reached most of my goals from last year my biggest one was being more outgoing and putting myself out there and not be so shy. (Yes, I am very shy until I get comfortable than I'm just out of control fun.) My goals this year #1 Being a better Mom. Really taking time with Paityn and actually going to her level, give her more attention, and do more mommy/daughter time together. #2 Work on getting my family sealed together. #3 Being more patient with my kids, husband, and even time. #4 Slow down to see the things that matter the most.

I hope that everyone has a faboulous and safe New Years Eve. And Good Luck to everyone in 2013!!

AGENCY

Well since my last post we found out my little girl had an ear infection. :( She got some medicine and has been doing a lot better. I had for sure loved all the cuddling it just one of those things as a mom that makes it so worth it!

Today was definitely one of those mornings I did not want to wake  and go to church, but I had this urgency at the last minute to get up and go! I left the kids home with Jake and just went, which when you go alone you realize how much of each talk or lesson you really miss! It was great to be able to go cause it was exactly what I needed to hear. I just want to share some of the stuff that I took note on and how it has applied to my life.

Its all is about the beginning The Creation and The Fall. From the very beginning we were all given Choices and that is what its all about is our AGENCY. I never realized HOW important that it is and how much it applys to me. We are all given a choice our daily lives are consumed with choice every minute, hour, second, and day! Those choices we make are what we get to live with the rest of our lives and some may even have consequences to follow. I finally think what my grandma has been telling me all these years is sinking in. ALL of us have AGENCY but we can only control what WE
(ourselves) do. We are only in control of us. Which is still A LOT to be responsible for in some sense. My biggest fault is getting upset and losing sight of life is becasue I am so worried about the choices certain people are making I'm not able to focus on what I should be doing and the choice I should be making for myself and family. I realized that I made the choice to come to this earth and I agreed to the challenges and trials that I would go through (Don't know why I would do such a thing) ;) But without these I have no idea where I would be. Would my faith have been tested enough that I would be able to get back into church and go through the temple? Would I have the family and kids that I do? Would I ever gain my testimony back or even have one?  I realized that this life is about TRIALS and we will ALL have that one trial that will hit the core and how we handle it and how we get through it defines us into who we can be.

I have had some CRAPPY trials and most recent changed how I gained more faith in my Heavenly Father than I ever thought was possible, but now that things are going good and I am choosing to make this best and work harder on the situation it scares me to know that I could have a trial that could be worse. I wonder how I can prepare for it when/if it were to so the my core can be spiritually ready for it. Though no one can prepare for the unexpected easily.  I am glad to be where I am in my life and though I still am hoping and waiting for my eternal family to be sealed together I will continue to be patient and stay positive about it happening in the very near future. I hope everyone has a wonderful Sunday Afternoon!

Knowledge

I was all excited to start blogging soon and of course nothing comes to me. Last night my sweet little girl woke up throwing up. Luckily, for me she hardly ate anything yesterday! She seem to be doing fine so who knows if its a tummy bug or what!? I just will take any excuse to cuddle and have a movie day. I should be cleaning but I guess that I can do it tomorrow. Besides, My stupid washer broke a few weeks ago so the only way I can do laundry is if Jake is here to rig it so it doesn't flood everywhere! We should get out new one in a week or two. I guess that is what happens when you order a new one around the holidays! Some days I honestly forget how grateful I am I get so caught up in what I want and how I want things that I don't realize that the most important stuff is right in front of me with my family. I get stressed out when all need to do is take a breathe and slow down in life, take all the small moments and treat them as they will be our last. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life and its funny how long it has taken to get some of the important parts of life. While I am still learning new thing in this life I just feel so blessed to have gained this knowledge so that I can guide my kids in the right direction and feed them the spiritual guidance that I lacked growing up. I understand you can't control your kids forever but I feel as through my life experiences I have gained tools to help me lead them to make better choices. I know this had gone in a lot of different directions but I hope that it makes as much sense to you as it did going through my head!

Lets try this again..

I am going to attempt to try blogging again. I love writing in my journal now that I have started that again so I figure why not take it to another level and try this as well. This time I think it will be different I intend to really write about thing I feel strongly about as well as post stuff about my amazing kids and family. Also, new things I try, about things I feel differently from raising each kid, about my sobriety, being a member of the Latter Day Saint Church (Mormon), the challenges that face, and how it is all connected to one thing or another. I will try and do this at least twice a week. This is just my beginning goal. I hope to get into this more than that but starting small is probably the best that way if I fail it won't be too bad!! ;)

TwO mOnThS!!!

Oh my gosh two months already this isn't fair but it is so much fun as you can see we have gone swimming, we got seven peaks season passes and we have some fun we've only gone twice but it was so much fun paityn loved it as long as she takes her power nap.

This month has gone by fast paityn is such a strong baby she hold her head up very good and she loves to stand when your holding her, she also loves to be held outwards so she can look at everything with those beautiful eyes of hers. She already has so much personality its amazing, she now weighs 10 pd and 12oz